The Brickmaster

Whew!  It's hard to believe winter is actually over (especially with the extended cold and snow season).   Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years passed.  The pages turned on Valentines Day and St Patricks Day.  Even the Easter Season has come to a close.  And I have been missing in action from blog-land. In an effort to catch up, I am posting some articles that should have been posted a few months ago.  Please forgive the time lapse.  But...its a new season!  Here is the first, published in the Winter edition of the Victorious Woman newsletter I am honored to be a part of.

The Brickmaster

Unless the LORD builds the house,

those who build it labor in vain.

(Psalm 127:1)

Like many 9 year old boys, my son is a certified Lego fanatic. Grandiose fighter jets, intricate submarines, and transforming robots captivate his attention. He is meticulous about following the manual and assembling each tiny piece in the correct place, in the proper order, to make a masterpiece.  A few years ago, we had a Lego mishap in our home that rocked his world.  Friends visited while he wasn’t home and found their way to his room.  Before I realized what was happening, in mere minutes, his masterpieces had become true fighter jets.  As they crashed together, the pieces became a jumbled mess. Kevin and I spent hours sorting and separating the pieces, the best way we could, to begin the repair.  When we broke the news to Jaedyn, he was devastated.  He didn’t even want to look at his beloved Legos. For over a year, they remained in the bags we had sorted.  He refused to touch them.

Recently, we discussed redecorating his room.  With a vision in mind, he finally was coerced into opening a bag containing one of his ships.  It was painful to watch as he began the process of reconstruction, instruction manual in hand. Most things had to be torn apart to be put back together.  It was exciting to see his hard work pay off with the first finished project to display in his new room.

One day, he called me into his room. There was a brick missing.  He could not continue building without it.  I dug through bag upon bag, trying to find the elusive piece.  Several times, I thought I had the one.  Each time, he pronounced it the wrong color, shape, or size.  In frustration, I wondered why he couldn’t just substitute the piece I offered. But, even though it looked good to my eye, it didn’t do the job properly. It didn’t fit. Other pieces couldn’t build on it securely to make the envisioned piece if it didn’t have the attributes called for in the instruction manual.

Sometimes, I feel like one of those Lego ships.  Sometimes, I feel broken after a battle and feel like I’m in a bag fighting for air.  Other times, I try to order the pieces of my life without consulting the “instruction manual” God has given me for success. His Word holds the key to wholeness. Studying the manual is my only hope for finding the right pieces to fulfill the vision God sees for my life.

As women, our hearts are pulled in many directions.  Our minds run a thousand miles a minute with a never ending task list to be accomplished.  We wear many hats and fulfill many roles. We may feel as if there aren’t enough hours in the day, or enough love in our hearts, to accomplish our goals and succeed in the many facets of our lives. Out of frustration, it is easy to hastily build with pieces we think will do the trick.  However, when using counterfeits, we soon find ourselves out of balance and dysfunctional.  Like a car running on unbalanced tires, our life becomes a bumpy ride.

At the beginning of the year, it is customary to refocus and examine the things in our lives that need attention. We set goals, dream, and determine to “start fresh”.  It is a good time to return to our manual, the Word, to see what God is speaking about building us.  He desires that we live a life of wholeness and purpose that can only come from proper balance and the right pieces in the right place.  Don’t be dismayed, discouraged, or disillusioned if your current season doesn’t feel very purposeful.  Purpose defined by the world is counterfeit, like using the wrong Lego. Wiping snotty noses, sorting smelly socks, and teaching bedtime prayers are purpose in the life of a young mother.  Holding an aged hand, sitting quietly by a bedside, and listening to stories are purpose in the life of a caretaker. Whatever season you’re in, live it and build on it with the pieces the manual instructs.

We must remember that building a masterpiece is a process.  The stuff epitaphs are made of at the end of the journey is built upon colorful bricks from different life seasons.  The finished product may have been torn apart and rebuilt numerous times along the journey. It is tedious work, and sometimes trial and error.  That’s why it comes with a manual.

The manual helps us recognize the pieces we need and where to activate them in our lives. It helps us recognize counterfeits that well-meaning others suggest as a substitute for the real thing.  It teaches us about the fruit of the Spirit.  It shows us how to build a firm foundation for ourselves and our families. It teaches us about moderation, modesty, grace, forgiveness, marriage, parenting, evangelism, health, giving, and prioritizing. Within its pages there is a formula for success in every area of our lives.  It is steady and sure. Though seasons change, His instructions remain the same.

This year, I am making a concentrated effort to return to foundational truths, even if I need disassembled to be reconstructed the way He planned.  His masterpieces are complete and whole, lacking nothing.  There are no “misfits” with the Brickmaster!

Holding on, Letting go

This week, I've noticed that the days are growing cooler.  Facebook is filled with back to school pictures. Summer days are coming to an end. Fall is in the air.

I've been living in a state of denial.  We continued homeschooling in a few subjects throughout the summer on a minimal level, trying to regain some sense of normalcy after all the transition that took place in our lives this year.   For us, the coolness in the air doesn't make sense.  After all, our beach vacation is not for two more weeks! 

I've been looking ahead trying to determine what this year's school year will look like for us.   There are curriculum choices, organization, Co-op opportunities, extra curricular activities, and field trips to consider.  We have been homeschooling Jaedyn since Kindergarten, and every moment has been an adventure. He has thrived in the homeschool enviornment and would not trade it for the world.  Now entering 4th grade, he is content to stay by my side and feel secure and satisfied there.  He loves our daily interaction and learning schedule at home.  Although he has never had trouble making friends and functioning socially with any age group, he doesn't feel the need to be socially stimulated in a school environment.  Church, playdates, soccer team, and co-op opportunities have been enough for him.  In fact, at age three, he profoundly announced one day "I don't want to go to college".  When I asked why, he replied "because I never want to leave you guys!".   I hope that changes over time, and I believe that as I learn to give him wings, he will learn to fly.  But, for now, he is content. 

I firmly believe that the Lord has called me to homeschool for this season, maybe forever.  I'm still praying about that and taking it one year at a time.  However,  we have a second child. :)  A child whose personality is totally different than the firstborn, she is full of an adventure all her own.  When she is tired or scared or hungry, she runs to me with arms wide open.  Otherwise, she is content to explore the world on her own.  While Jaedyn needs someone to be his activity coordinator, Kadence will fill hours with independent play.  While he waits for me to take the lead, she paves a path all her own.  Jaedyn is most content at home, quietly functioning as a family.  Kadence is happiest surrounded by friends and family, in the middle of lots of people and chatter, in a busy social setting.  (Each child clearly takes after one of their parents, but I'll let you decide which one!)  

Kadence is 3, but already she has a deep desire to learn and is a sponge soaking up the enviornment around her.  This has been interesting to watch.  She is clearly enamored with all things pink and princess themed - some days she even refuses to get dressed if her clothes for the day are not pink.  However, having an older brother who is immersed in all things action themed, my little princess has developed quite a Star Wars and Lego Ninjago vocabulary.  Sometimes, it's funny.  Other times, I cringe.

In an effort to allow her to spend some more time in age appropriate activities and satisfy her incredible desire to learn, we have decided to venture into unchartered territory a bit this year.  We are blessed to have a preschool, daycare, and school at our church.  After much discussion and prayer, we have decided to enroll her in preschool for a few hours a week.  It will give her some freedom to learn in wonderful enviornment with the same values we would teach at home, while it gives Jaedyn some one on one time to focus without distractions.  I love her teacher and couldn't be more excited for her to pour into Kadence's life.  I love that, since Kadence won't attend every day of the week, she will support our learning at home by supplying us with supplemental materials.  The situation couldn't be more perfect.  So why do I have a tinge of sadness?

Last night I took her to Open House at the preschool.  She was able to spend time with her teacher, see her classroom, and learn about what to expect.  She was so excited.  I was excited watching her even as my heart filled with emotion.  She does not like to be referred to as a little girl anymore, and I was witnessing the transformation before my eyes.  

Little by little, as our children grow, they develop less of a need for our 24:7 attention and assistance.  I know this, because this is my second round.  Yet, this time is different, and I'm learning all over again.  (God help me when they become teenagers!)  Maybe it's my life season, and starting this parenthood thing late in the game that causes this to be so emotional for me.  Maybe it's watching all my friends that are of age equality :) sending their children off to high school, college, and even marriage that has made me want to hold on so tightly as time speeds up and slips away.  Maybe it is knowing that pregnancy, infants, and sleepless nights are a thing of the past in our house (not all of that is bad, by the way!).  Whatever it is, it has caused me to want to savor - and capture - every  precious moment, even as it is slipping through my fingers like sand.  

I don't want to fill my life with things that take up so much of my attention and energy that I lose sight of life's most precious blessings.  Even though things may seem to have value at the moment, my family is God's greatest gift.  I could have a lifetime of accomplishments, but it wouldn't matter if they kept me so caught up that I couldn't get down on my knees to look into the eyes of my child and give them my undivided attention.  So today, as I HOLD ON and LET GO,  I have the words of an old school song running through my head.  Funny, I remember my mom humming these words when I was a child. I'm pretty sure today that I know exactly how she was feeling as those lyrics went through her mind. :)

Hold tight to the sound of the music of living,
Happy songs from the laughter of children at play;
Hold my hand as we run through the sweet fragrant meadows,
Making memories of what was today.

Chorus: We have this moment to hold in our hands
and to touch as it slips through our fingers like sand;
Yesterday's gone and tomorrow may never come,
But we have this moment today.

Tiny voice that I hear is my little girl calling,
For Daddy to hear just what she has to say;
And my little son running there by the hillside,
May never be quite like today.

Tender words, gentle touch and a good cup of coffee,
And someone who loves me and wants me to stay;
Hold them near while they're here and don't wait for tomorrow,
To look back and wish for today.

Take the blue of the sky and the green of the forest,
And the gold and the brown of the freshly mown hay;
Add the pale shades of spring and the circus of autumn,
And weave you a lovely today.

-We Have This Moment (Bill & Gloria Gaither)